make it count

You know when you're trying to make a turn when you're driving and an opening comes but you hesitate and don't go? So you miss the chance to make the turn and kick yourself because you know you should've went but now you have to wait for the next time traffic slows down...and who knows when that will be. I've had that same feeling lately- but not when I was driving. I can think of 3 specific encounters within the past week when I've been mad at myself for not taking an opportunity God was clearly giving me. I should've taken the opening and just talked and shared the light, but chickened out and didn't do it. I walked away feeling guilty and pissed that I didn't listen to the Voice nudging me. Now all I can do is hope that the next person who makes those encounters isn't as much of a coward as I was.

It's been over two months since I wrote my first post for this blog. Ironically the focus of that post was about me needing to make a habit of writing on here and clearly that has not happened. It's funny how so much can happen in 2 months- too bad I didn't document it here to keep better track of it all. In two months, people have left my life, and new people have come into it and have already become a big part of my world. The tsunami in Japan. I turned 21. I've quit a job. Then started nannying and have already grown attached to the kids. I've found out that my family is moving out of the town I've lived in for my entire life. Within two months I've made a couple of huge decisions along with countless minuscule ones that don't seem to matter-  the kind of decisions we make everyday just to keep living our lives and get through the day.

But I don't want to just get through the day. I don't want to just cross off another day on the calendar. I want to make my days worth something. I want to make MOMENTS worth something. So how do I do that? I don't really know. I bet one way is to take those opportunities I mentioned before and to step out of my comfort zone instead of ignoring what I know I should do.

Not to mention that since I last wrote on this blog announcing that I'm going to Greece, I have received more support than I ever imagined I would. I realized after I sent out the support letters that I did not specify the dates of the trip. We leave June 17 and return July 22 (just so you know when to be praying extra hard!). I've been overwhelmed with the generosity and cannot thank everyone enough or explain how much it means to me. Thank you letters will be sent out following the trip, please don't think you'll never hear from me again after you send me money..haha

Last night I was at SunFest and was a minority in the fact that I was one of the people not under the influence of illegal drugs. I was texting a friend joking about the stupid decisions I could be making in that atmosphere. The conversation ended with my friend jokingly saying "make it count" if I'm going to be doing anything crazy. Hey- if you're going to do something, good or bad, might as well make it worthwhile, right? Go all out man. Just don't waste another day.